I am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words*

Tonight has been el sucko. First, the federal government prohibited me from purchasing 20 tablets of Claritin-D, which would greatly help me feel normal. Apparently, cracked-out punks can use it in their unstable homemade meth labs so that tweakers do not have to go without. Since I didn't want to carry my wallet, I only took my credit card. Without my driver's license or a picture i.d., the squirrely man behind the counter could not sell me anything to decongest my airways. I did manage to score some Ny-Quil, so not all hope is lost.

Second, because I am sick I feel entitled to eat the low-fat, chewy goodness that is a tootsie roll. In fact, I feel entitled to buy a bag of midgees sans guilt, and I feel justified ignoring that little voice in the back of my head that reminds me that I have plenty of weight to lose and that tootsie rolls only contribute to that goal in my self-created alternate universe - the one where I am also queen! I left the drug store with my bag of midgees only to discover when I got home that they are rock hard. What makes tootsie rolls so great is the combination of the fake-chocolate taste and the chewiness! My bag of midgees is only useful should I wish to pull out a filling or potentially crack a tooth.

*I think the lyrics to the new Fallout Boy song are heelarious! Expect the title of this blog to make many more appearances.

we'll get jacked up on some cheap champagne and let the good times all roll out

Reality is sort of sinking in for a change. If all goes well I'll be an actual attorney in the not too distant future, and that scares me. I do not feel prepared to be an attorney. To help myself along, I think I should start eliminating some words out of my vernacular. I should no longer say: "like, sweet, awesome, really?, fuck yeah, totally, SO, rock out with my cock out"

This is why:

Me: "I am SO going to file the motion today."

Judge: "Motion granted"
Me: "Sweet!"

Judge: "Motion denied"
Me: "Really?"

Co-worker: "don't you have an appearance today?"
Me: "fuck yeah! I am totally going to rock out with my cock out!!"

I can come up with too many examples for "like."

As Ms. Smith says, this could be like the Smurfs not saying "smurf," but I have to try if I am going to get and stay employed. Also, I need to work on not flashing devil horns as a way of saying "fuck yeah!" or "rock on!" I'm pretty sure that is not an acceptable way of getting one's point across.

Just nod if you can hear me, Is there anybody home?

I started moving things into my new home this morning. I started with the essentials - clothes, shoes, toilettries, and linens. Tomorrow is the big day. I meet movers at my storage unit at 8 a.m. and from then on it will be nothing but hauling, stair climbing, and unpacking fun. One of the few things that I like about moving is that it is the perfect time to purge my possessions of all unwanted, unnecessary and neglected things, which makes me feel a bit more organized. So far in the "get rid of" pile are clothes, shoes, school textbooks, magazines, and some furnishings for which I no longer have a need. Also, the more I get rid of, the less I have to move later.

The logistics: I am living in the Duboce Triangle, which is a pocket in between Lower Haight, The Castro, and The Mission. I am on a quiet tree-lined street, which is like a small haven from all the happenings of the surrounding areas. I am living with a 26 year-old guy, who just moved up from Santa Barbara. He seems very nice, and I am excited!

Because I am not really on top of things yet, I thought I had another 2 weeks of vacation. Not so! I start classes next Thursday, but there is little room for complaint. I have Fridays off, and the following Monday is a holiday. I also only have one 2-hour class on Thursdays.

With a great new home, a great new roommate, and a manageable class schedule, it seems as though my last semester will be GREAT!

if music is the victim, then so am I

It's January 2nd, which I think qualifies as the dead of winter. I stepped outside to get something from my car and immediately noticed that it felt like early springtime. The temperature was 68F (20C), and it was still light out at 5:30 p.m. My mom was working in the garden, and I was wearing flip-flops, which maybe isn't as abnormal for Northern California as it seems. Instead, I think I am still using Copenhagen as my frame of reference.

To regress for a minute, New Year's Eve is a night like no other, and I'm not referring to the extravagance and over indulgence that marks the night. Instead, it's a night where people feel hopeful and have a sense of renewal. In the spirit of it being the first day of January 2007, I am coming up with some resolutions. Mind you, these are not New Year's resolutions, which I think are trite and (usually) lack sincerity. Instead, I usually make a list at the beginning of each month of things I would like to accomplish or work towards. These goals range from the cliche, like lose weight, to the more earnest. My more earnest resolution for January is to squelch my inner-consumer. I will remind myself that things such as the latest cell phone, ipod, laptop, and other suck gizmos do not define me or my worth. Instead, I am going to increase my donation amount to Oxfam!