An ode to Smith (aka Susan, Red, Home Skillet, Smalls, Homegirl) is an ode to the hive mind more or less. The hive mind is a type of collective consciousness that Smith and I share. As a result of the hive mind, many people get a little twitchy when we say the same thing or gesticulate in the same manner at the exact same moment. For example, tonight while on the phone Smith said "You'd makeout anywhere" at the very second I said "I'd makeout anywhere." When Smith wants to shop, I usually do too. The hive mind rocks out at the gym and goes to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's together to buy the same groceries (minus green goop - this is where the hive mind malfunctions). On the way to said destinations, the hive mind sings along to "you can't see tits on the radio, I'll give you five fingers for a one man show!" We are convinced that most peeps at school think we are a couple, since we can typically be found in each other's company. Need one of us and you're likely to get both. We were also both meant to be born and raised in a tropical environment given our unusually strong affection for all things pineapple. Smith is the one who searches high and low for things like pineapple jam with me.
Aside from the hive mind, Smith joins the disco bus at an ungawdly hour AND brings blow pops to the party! She also makes a last minute run to Anthropologie (otherwise, if I'm there she is as well), to get a new outfit for a date that was lamely upgraded at the last minute, bringing forth my spazztastic self.
Red also gets particularly rageful, especially when skeezy crackheads call her "red." She accepts and understands my fits of rage and encourages me when I tell her that I want to put my fist through a wall. She even devised a plan with me - after graduation we are smashing shizz in the street. She was quick to point out that we will need protective eyewear. Oh, and she got me saying "shizz."
Not many people like soft serve from McDonald's. She reignited my fondness for it - especially when (as Susan nicknamed it) you get a flaming torch. She does not judge me when we go to 1984, I get fully loaded, and start engaging in behavior I'd rather not remember the next day.
Susan lets me spend inordinate amounts of money without pointing out that I either don't have it or that I should spend it on more practical things. In fact, she put me on the path to using war paint, and now I use it almost every day. Oftentimes, I call or IM Susan in the morning to see whether she thinks what I want to wear will look good. Susan is THE ONE who broke me of wearing lots of black. I am not to the point of "dressing like candy" or wearing all colors at once, but I now own orange clothing and few black things.
She has a teddy bear made of alpaca, and she lets me cuddle it when we watch movies at her place. She appreciates the value of a glue gun. She embraces my predilection for boxes and nicknamed me the Box Ghost after a character on Danny Phantom. "I'm the Box Ghost - Beware!" is sometimes a random interjection into a conversation of ours.
Friday, April 20, 2007
I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess
An ode* to my favorite ex-roommate: Candace. Canned Ass. Candit. Porch polisson.
I moved out of my wonderful apartment on Masonic in August when I moved to Copenhagen. I was sad to leave. Candace, on the other hand, didn't seem to care either way. What ensued was an unspoken passive-aggressive battle in a relatively small space. I left with the suspicion that we wouldn't remain friends. While in Copenhagen, my suspicion became more of a certainty, one which was solidified when I first returned. It's an imperfect world since it is full of imperfect people, so I was ready to accept what I couldn't change. I spend my time doing otherwise too often. Magically though, she came to her senses and realized what bad assery fun she'd be missing.
She is the progenitor of the excessively expressive and interpretive car dancing. She too is troubled by the fact that we can't download "Shiny Disco Balls" off itunes. She gives me the opportunity to kill an evening and night at Lucky 13 at the spur of the moment. She loves the mac and cheese from Home just as much as I do. She appreciates the wonky eye - or at least the wonky. She too is willing to make a meal out of mango mojitos. She spends an entire day with me engaging in retail therapy which requires a joint effort to pretend that we have more money than we do ($60 for a pedicure, sure! as long as it comes with crital gel). She joins the disco bus and loves its hydraulics. She has Ralph who responded "Bitch is back!" when told that she was in the disco bus. I can say "I don't sparkle on Wednesday," and she gets it and responds with "we need vitamins!" She doesn't kill me when I yell "Hotender!" when outside Double Dutch. She comes over, eats the nastiness that is yellow curry (that is now sitting in the garbage stinking up my kitchen), bakes cookies and watches Grey's Anatomy with me. She says outrageous things, performs outrageous feats, and is more dramatic than 3 xanax, 2 lines and a flask of bourbon - all of which make me feel a wee bit more grounded. Homegirl can go through a box of kleenex with amazing speed. She is brutally honest even about her own shortcomings, which is refreshing. Oh, and she loves my new mix tape.
I should give her a box of sandwich bags and a roll of aluminum foil.
* this is the first in a series of odes to my favorite peeps
I moved out of my wonderful apartment on Masonic in August when I moved to Copenhagen. I was sad to leave. Candace, on the other hand, didn't seem to care either way. What ensued was an unspoken passive-aggressive battle in a relatively small space. I left with the suspicion that we wouldn't remain friends. While in Copenhagen, my suspicion became more of a certainty, one which was solidified when I first returned. It's an imperfect world since it is full of imperfect people, so I was ready to accept what I couldn't change. I spend my time doing otherwise too often. Magically though, she came to her senses and realized what bad assery fun she'd be missing.
She is the progenitor of the excessively expressive and interpretive car dancing. She too is troubled by the fact that we can't download "Shiny Disco Balls" off itunes. She gives me the opportunity to kill an evening and night at Lucky 13 at the spur of the moment. She loves the mac and cheese from Home just as much as I do. She appreciates the wonky eye - or at least the wonky. She too is willing to make a meal out of mango mojitos. She spends an entire day with me engaging in retail therapy which requires a joint effort to pretend that we have more money than we do ($60 for a pedicure, sure! as long as it comes with crital gel). She joins the disco bus and loves its hydraulics. She has Ralph who responded "Bitch is back!" when told that she was in the disco bus. I can say "I don't sparkle on Wednesday," and she gets it and responds with "we need vitamins!" She doesn't kill me when I yell "Hotender!" when outside Double Dutch. She comes over, eats the nastiness that is yellow curry (that is now sitting in the garbage stinking up my kitchen), bakes cookies and watches Grey's Anatomy with me. She says outrageous things, performs outrageous feats, and is more dramatic than 3 xanax, 2 lines and a flask of bourbon - all of which make me feel a wee bit more grounded. Homegirl can go through a box of kleenex with amazing speed. She is brutally honest even about her own shortcomings, which is refreshing. Oh, and she loves my new mix tape.
I should give her a box of sandwich bags and a roll of aluminum foil.
* this is the first in a series of odes to my favorite peeps
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Worries vanish here within my dream
I chose the perfect song lyrics for this blog! My good day continues to get better, and it is only 10 a.m. The best occurrence so far (and I think this will be hard to beat) is that Alan and I scheduled a lunch date for next week at Triptych in SOMA. It is one of my favorite restaurants in this city full of fabulous eateries, and Alan is one of my favorite individuals. Five seconds into the conversation he had me laughing and knowing that I will get to spend at least an hour if not more in his company makes me look forward to next week.
I woke up this morning feeling well-rested. I had a great night, a good night's sleep and a dream from which I did not want to wake. I was back in Ireland. Enough said.
Aside from that, I had a fit (of what I'm not sure) and determined that I am tired of being disappointed in myself. I am sure I will continue to fuck up in some ways; I will do something and later think to myself, "why did that seem like a good idea?" Or, at the very least, I will feel a twinge of regret at something said or done (or something left unsaid or gone undone). I'm ok with this. It's those moments that lend themselves to some introspection and growth. It is the rather incessant nature of this as of late that I'm looking to mollify. So, here goes! Wheeeeee...
I woke up this morning feeling well-rested. I had a great night, a good night's sleep and a dream from which I did not want to wake. I was back in Ireland. Enough said.
Aside from that, I had a fit (of what I'm not sure) and determined that I am tired of being disappointed in myself. I am sure I will continue to fuck up in some ways; I will do something and later think to myself, "why did that seem like a good idea?" Or, at the very least, I will feel a twinge of regret at something said or done (or something left unsaid or gone undone). I'm ok with this. It's those moments that lend themselves to some introspection and growth. It is the rather incessant nature of this as of late that I'm looking to mollify. So, here goes! Wheeeeee...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Oh crystal ball, crystal ball...save us all, tell me life is beautiful!
My rather unexceptional law school experience will come to a conclusion in one month. I say that it has been rather unexceptional, because I will not look back on the last 3 years with either fondness or distaste. I have put in minimal effort and have surprisingly managed to get an acceptable return on that investment. Thanks to law school, I have come to terms with being (what I perceive as) mediocre; but, I have also become lazy. Never before law school have I been this unmotivated, which is strange since during undergrad I did not need to be motivated, but I was regardless. Since I didn't have to do much of anything to receive "As," I busted my butt in other areas of my life. Now that effort is needed to do well, I have thrown in the towel and settled for the middle of the pack. For these reasons, finishing law school does not feel like an achievement, and this is why I am not walking at the graduation ceremony. Why celebrate my own apathy? Or, more importantly, why make my family celebrate it?
[To qualify the above - law school has not been entirely awful; it enabled me to spend two months in Prague, three months in Copenhagen, and one month split up over Budapest, Amsterdam, Helsinki, Stockholm and Istanbul. This time abroad lent itself to meeting amazing people and having experiences that made me think, feel and experience life in ways law school is incapable of stimulating.]
Along with the conclusion of law school comes a confluence of emotional experiences and managing them all feels overwhelming. Somtimes my emotions change without notice, and other days I feel conflicting things. To run the gambit of feeling frustrated, elated, anxious, disappointed, weary, enthusiastic, doutful, impatient, comfortable, and content makes focusing seem impossible. A reassessment of goals is in order, and that is terrifying. What were the reasons I came to law school and are those still valid? Not really, and it is unthrilling to finish law school and think that it was perhaps not the best path to take to achieve self-fulfillment and satisfaction. But, as I (and simple physics) maintain: a body (used metaphorically for my life) at rest will stay at rest until a force is acted upon it. Similarly, a body in motion will stay in motion until a force is acted upon it. Such was the case with coming to law school, i.e., once I was on the path, on the path I was determined to be. Change is always difficult, and it's not that things are changing at too rapid of a pace. Instead, things are changing, but I simply cannot predict all the ways in which things are changing and the likely consequences.
I am a bit melancholic that law school has come and gone, as inconsistent as this may seem. It's not the experience of law school itself that I am going to miss. It's the loss of being forward-looking that I think I am starting to lament. Before starting, I had been preoccupied with thoughts such as "once I start law school..." Since starting, I have been preoccupied with thoughts such as "once I graduate..." Now that graduation is nearing, I'm not really thinking to myself "once I take the Bar..." or "once I start my career..." Why? Because I know that once I start my career, it will not be long before I am bored. There is no immediate goal that I am working towards, since retirement is far off in the future. I can look forward to my annual two-week vacation, but that is a bit anti-climactic. It feels unfortunate that I feel as though I am entering the denouement of something...my life perhaps, even though I know this is not an accurate depiction. Fortunately, this melancholy gets circumvented by excitement and anticipation when I think of all the possible avenues that are still before me. While this too feels overwhelming, it's of a good variety that leads me to believe that "the world really is my oyster."
Be rest assured, I will continue blather on about inane subjects in the not too distant future...
[To qualify the above - law school has not been entirely awful; it enabled me to spend two months in Prague, three months in Copenhagen, and one month split up over Budapest, Amsterdam, Helsinki, Stockholm and Istanbul. This time abroad lent itself to meeting amazing people and having experiences that made me think, feel and experience life in ways law school is incapable of stimulating.]
Along with the conclusion of law school comes a confluence of emotional experiences and managing them all feels overwhelming. Somtimes my emotions change without notice, and other days I feel conflicting things. To run the gambit of feeling frustrated, elated, anxious, disappointed, weary, enthusiastic, doutful, impatient, comfortable, and content makes focusing seem impossible. A reassessment of goals is in order, and that is terrifying. What were the reasons I came to law school and are those still valid? Not really, and it is unthrilling to finish law school and think that it was perhaps not the best path to take to achieve self-fulfillment and satisfaction. But, as I (and simple physics) maintain: a body (used metaphorically for my life) at rest will stay at rest until a force is acted upon it. Similarly, a body in motion will stay in motion until a force is acted upon it. Such was the case with coming to law school, i.e., once I was on the path, on the path I was determined to be. Change is always difficult, and it's not that things are changing at too rapid of a pace. Instead, things are changing, but I simply cannot predict all the ways in which things are changing and the likely consequences.
I am a bit melancholic that law school has come and gone, as inconsistent as this may seem. It's not the experience of law school itself that I am going to miss. It's the loss of being forward-looking that I think I am starting to lament. Before starting, I had been preoccupied with thoughts such as "once I start law school..." Since starting, I have been preoccupied with thoughts such as "once I graduate..." Now that graduation is nearing, I'm not really thinking to myself "once I take the Bar..." or "once I start my career..." Why? Because I know that once I start my career, it will not be long before I am bored. There is no immediate goal that I am working towards, since retirement is far off in the future. I can look forward to my annual two-week vacation, but that is a bit anti-climactic. It feels unfortunate that I feel as though I am entering the denouement of something...my life perhaps, even though I know this is not an accurate depiction. Fortunately, this melancholy gets circumvented by excitement and anticipation when I think of all the possible avenues that are still before me. While this too feels overwhelming, it's of a good variety that leads me to believe that "the world really is my oyster."
Be rest assured, I will continue blather on about inane subjects in the not too distant future...
Monday, April 2, 2007
I am trying to be heroic in an age of modernity
Fuck this shizz!
I just realized that the last semester of law school is like a season of Survivor. To be fair I will qualify that statement by saying that I have never seen an entire season of Survivor (or even half a season). Regardless, the analogy holds true. I could wax poetic (ok, maybe not so poetic) but those who read this who are also in law school understand what I mean, I am sure. It's just awful, and what makes it awful is this strange confluence of events and corresponding feelings. I hate to say it, but I am actually looking forward to buckling down and studying for the Bar. I am sure that I will hate myself for saying that in 2 months' time, but I'm going out on a limb here.
My only silver lining at the moment is that Easter is rapidly approaching. I LOVE Easter and all of its splendor. The time of year, the flowers, the colors, little colorful and artfully decorated eggs, cupcakes in the shapes of tulips, Easter baskets! Really, if you set aside all religious context, what isn't there to love about Easter?
Easter, for sure, is not part of the shizz that should be fucked.
I just realized that the last semester of law school is like a season of Survivor. To be fair I will qualify that statement by saying that I have never seen an entire season of Survivor (or even half a season). Regardless, the analogy holds true. I could wax poetic (ok, maybe not so poetic) but those who read this who are also in law school understand what I mean, I am sure. It's just awful, and what makes it awful is this strange confluence of events and corresponding feelings. I hate to say it, but I am actually looking forward to buckling down and studying for the Bar. I am sure that I will hate myself for saying that in 2 months' time, but I'm going out on a limb here.
My only silver lining at the moment is that Easter is rapidly approaching. I LOVE Easter and all of its splendor. The time of year, the flowers, the colors, little colorful and artfully decorated eggs, cupcakes in the shapes of tulips, Easter baskets! Really, if you set aside all religious context, what isn't there to love about Easter?
Easter, for sure, is not part of the shizz that should be fucked.
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